ArcaMax

I do not want to create any problems for her and I do not wish to see her again, but I am grateful for her quiet influence.

-- Just Wondering

Dear Wondering: This is a question that you should run past your wife.

Your wife doesn't run you, and she doesn't control your friendships or contact with other people, but she might have insight into this conundrum because she is a woman -- and because she knows you very well.

Oh, but I sense that you don't want to run this past your wife. I'm extrapolating from your tone a certain wistfulness. Again, there is nothing wrong with feeling wistful and acting on those nostalgic impulses, but if you do, you should be honest with yourself about your intentions, and about what you are really trying to express.

In short, don't start something that you aren't prepared to own.

If you do choose to send this message, make sure that it is both sincere and appropriate, and something she would feel comfortable showing to her spouse, if she chose to: "Our lives took us in different directions and I have no regrets. I'm grateful for your influence. I've had a wonderful career, and I owe you some of the credit. Thank you for that!"

Dear Amy: "Frazzled Shopper" reported having a 3-year-old who was incorrigible while at the grocery store.

You accepted this as a discipline issue, but that child might have a sensory processing disorder. The child should be checked!

-- Experienced Mom

Dear Mom: Several readers suggested this. Yes, this child could have a sensory processing problem, although it is hardly out of the norm for a 3-year-old to misbehave in the grocery aisle.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)