Housemates worry about friend's new mate
Friends trust that the friendship will survive through some tough truths. Adults can also express sincere concern, without seeking to control the object of their concern.
But first, accept that this relationship is real. Get to know his partner, and adopt a positive attitude as you do.
Express: "Hey, we really miss solo-you! Any chance we can see you without your guy any time soon?"
Otherwise, unless you see specific issues -- such as signs of abuse and control, or if your friend has a tough romantic/sexual history that makes you worry -- then he has the right to proceed with abandon (he has that right, anyway, regardless of what you perceive). You can certainly make an observation: ("You two are moving really quickly") and follow it with a question: "How are you feeling about everything?"
But you have to listen to his answer, and if he says he's happy, then you should be happy for him.
Dear Amy: Years ago, I met a wonderful lady and we began dating. We dated for a year. She chose to break up. Three months later she asked me to see her again. Unfortunately, things were not the same and we split up for good.
We each married other people. We live 200 miles apart and have not had any contact since we broke up.
She was (indirectly) the reason I have a great job today.
Because of this, I feel that she changed my life in a positive way.
Is it wrong for me to send her a thank-you card, telling her this?
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