ArcaMax

Your daughter-in-law did the right thing in returning this to you, but she should not have asked you to keep a secret from your son. She said she would handle this, but evidently she has not. It's also not obvious that she has held her daughters accountable for their larceny.

You should let your daughter-in-law know that your son keeps inquiring about the pendant. Tell her that the next time he asks about it, you'll tell him the truth. Ask her and the girls to come clean to him. They did a bad thing. It has been rectified. Keeping this a secret draws out the drama. I assume you have fully forgiven them. It's time to move on.

Dear Amy: Do you think it is possible to change how you react internally to something? Examples being: a spouse who has quirks, a co-worker who talks too much or a neighbor who does noisy yardwork at a time when I want things quiet.

In none of these instances is the other person doing anything wrong, per se. It's my reaction that is bugging me. As I get older, I find I'm having more and more of these internal reactions. And honestly, I'm sick of my own voice in my head complaining!

I have no problem chasing away my annoyed thoughts -- it usually takes just a few seconds -- but I'd rather not have this response in the first place.

Any thoughts?

-- Wannabe Zen

Dear Wannabe: If you can release your annoyance within a few seconds, I'd say you're doing very well. You might be able to flip the script, however, by determining to see these episodes as the comic absurdities of modern life.

For instance, every time I step into the shower, no matter what time of day, the guy that mows the lawn shows up with his mower, pacing back and forth just outside the window. Sometimes, you just have to laugh.

Dear Amy: I was disappointed by your snarky response to "Too Many Siblings," who was planning her wedding. You should have encouraged her to include all of her and her fiance's family members as attendants.

-- Dismayed

Dear Dismayed: "Too Many Siblings" said she didn't want to have any attendants. She just didn't know how to make her wishes known.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)