Wife hates husband's secret lingerie habit
-- Confused Wife
Dear Wife: You have demanded that your husband must not disclose anything about this fetish to you. You have also demanded that you must never find any evidence of it.
He seems to have gone to great lengths to keep this a secret, as you insist he must.
So why do you keep snooping? If you don't want to be confronted by something, then don't look for it.
Cross-dressing (or perhaps only purchasing women's clothing) is obviously a very important part of your husband's life. It is shocking to me that your therapist didn't help you to talk about this during your sessions. The way you two communicate -- via email and now postal letter -- is passive and one-sided. You both seem to basically throw down and then run away.
Instead of insisting that your husband stop doing something that he won't stop doing, you might seek to understand it by discussing it with him, suspending your disgust and judgment until you feel you understand this impulse.
You say you feel unloved and betrayed, but I can imagine that your husband might feel this way, too.
Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I are pretty young, and we have been dating for three years. His family has picked petty arguments with me in the past. A year ago, I posted a photo on social media of me in a bathing suit that some assumed was my underwear. My boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, "Katie," reached out to me through social media to tell me that the photo was disrespectful to my relationship.
Some somewhat vicious messages went back and forth between us until I blocked her.
It's been one year, and at gatherings I refuse to speak to her, even though she once tried to speak to me. Katie is a 30-year-old woman who decided to poke her nose into my relationship, though she posts plenty of swimsuit wear and has a history of cheating.
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