Wife hates husband's secret lingerie habit
Dear Amy: I have been married almost 15 years to a man I first knew in high school. I first became aware of his problem several years ago, when I found a bra hanging in our laundry room that was not my size. Finally, my husband confessed he'd bought it for himself. He said it was a one-time occurrence.
After he returned from a business trip, I found more women's lingerie. He assured me this would not occur again. Then, I found a white gown and panties in his backpack in the trunk of his car. Yes, I was snooping, because I remained suspicious.
He wrote me an email telling me he was fascinated with female lingerie. I decided that he had a fetish, and sought marital counseling. He attended, but he didn't think it helped. I told him then that if he had to make these purchases I did not want to ever know about them, and I'd better not ever find evidence.
Last week I discovered two emails on his phone (yes, I was snooping again) where he has ordered almost $1,000 of lingerie AND women's clothing.
He also has a secret post office box where these shipments are delivered.
I sent him a letter to the P.O. box asking him WHY he has it, and WHY he was buying women's clothing.
So far, he hasn't acknowledged the letter.
Our relationship has suffered because I feel betrayed. I do not feel loved, respected or cared for.
I think I still love him, but this behavior disgusts me (maybe it shouldn't).
Your advice?
...continued
