Successful son fails at relationship with mom
-- Heartbroken
Dear Heartbroken: You must protect your health. Biofeedback, meditation, medication and talk therapy could all help.
Your son told you that he is in a "tough emotional spot." What does he mean? His volatile behavior might indicate that he is struggling through some mental health challenges of his own.
If your son is so volatile toward you, you can imagine how powerless his wife might feel. Don't expect her to intervene.
You need professional guidance, and your son does, too. For now, try not to catastrophize this encounter, or look too far into the future. Manage your current crisis with a therapist; accept and process your own grief in stages. You should also urge your son to get therapeutic help. Understand that you can lead him toward insight, but you cannot make him participate in the process.
Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I are in college. He gets very angry if I get better grades than him, or when I get an internship offer. When I succeed, he makes me feel as if I have done something wrong.
My first reaction when I do well is to be afraid of what he will say and how he will feel.
I got him an internship, but he still isn't happy. I never get to be happy for my success because he always gets upset and makes an issue about it. Please help me.
-- Nervous Overachiever
Dear Nervous: Your boyfriend is making you question whether you deserve to get grades and internships you work hard for. Additionally, he is punishing you through anger and withholding affection, and blaming you for his unhappiness and shortcomings.
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