It's time for these roommates to air their dirty laundry
Nine months later, I'm still deeply upset, and relations with my family have been cool.
I've finally decided to make a brief trip to see them. I've already had two very upsetting conversations with my mother and believe it is useless to rehash this.
I just need to know how to get past it.
-- Grieving absences
Dear Grieving: It would have been great if your sisters had brought your mother to this wedding, but honestly, I think it's a stretch to expect an 84-year-old woman to board a train to cross the country alone.
Bring wedding photos to share when you see these family members. Be honest about your disappointment, but leave room for them to see things from your point of view. So far, you've pressured and put them on the defensive.
Understand that they missed more than you did. Give yourself the gift of forgiving them, and you will feel liberated.
Dear Amy: "Losing Patience" was upset by her daughter's live-in boyfriend's laziness. The daughter did everything for him. I think you missed something in your response: this daughter might be locked in an abusive relationship. Losing Patience should work hard to stay close to her.
-- Been There
Dear Been There: Definitely. Thank you.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
