Life Advice

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Health

It's time for these roommates to air their dirty laundry

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Here's how your roommate can take care of himself: He should do his own laundry when it is soiled, like a big boy. He should wear his own clothes. He should respect adult boundaries, friendship boundaries and roommate boundaries.

His choice to laugh off his own behavior is juvenile. He's trying to gaslight you into believing that his behavior is -- or should be -- OK. But it's not OK, because you don't like it.

Here's how you need to take care of yourself: Use your voice. When you don't like something, express yourself -- plainly, firmly and respectfully. You say a version of, "Dude, no. Just no. Please don't do that anymore. I don't like it." This is not a confrontation, but a simple stating of your own needs. Friends and roommates must be honest and respectful.

You two might be able to strike up a deal -- if you're interested. Because he is so busy, he might be eager to compensate you for doing his laundry.

Dear Amy: Our only son (and the only grandson and nephew on my side of the family) recently got married.

Many members of my husband's family came from far and wide.

 

Absent were my elderly (84) but healthy mother, and my two sisters, who live halfway across the country.

My mother's excuse was she's petrified of flying; she declined taking the train.

My sisters each simply sent regrets.

This was a crushing blow for me, and I know my son and his bride were disappointed. I tried to reason with my mother, to no avail. A therapist I'd been seeing for anxiety was sympathetic, but said in the end this would be a blip, and good memories of the wedding would take over.

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