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Health & Spirit

Sudden plan to move ties partner in knots

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: A few days ago, I found out that my girlfriend of 10 months has applied for a work visa to Canada, and plans to move there next year from Dublin (where we live), with or without me.

We both have chosen journalism as a career, and unfortunately there isn't a lot of work here in Ireland. This is something she has wanted to do for a very long time, but has put it on hold because of me. She isn't happy in Ireland. We had discussed this and I said I would go with her, but I wasn't expecting this fast track.

She has had a year to finalize this in her head, and to save up the money. I am about to graduate and don't have a lot of savings.

The most she is willing to compromise with me on is that we go in March or April of next year. That would give me some time to find a job in retail and save up some money.

I understand why she needs to leave, I do, but at the same time I am very hurt that she hasn't made this decision with me and she is basically giving me an ultimatum.

I'm not ready to leave my friends and family and my home within six months.

I don't know if it's worth it. Should I move and give up everything for someone who hasn't made this decision as a couple, but has made this decision without me?

How much commitment does that show? I'm fairly stuck here and I don't know what to do.

-- Anonymous

Dear Anonymous: Your girlfriend's commitment is primarily to herself and her career right now, although according to you, she has stayed in Ireland (mainly) for you.

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