ArcaMax

-- Had It

Dear Had It: The basic hallmarks of narcissism are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. Your brother might be a narcissist -- or he might be a guy who simply loves his own life.

You have the right to disengage from your brother, and you don't even need to justify it, either to him, your mother, or anyone else.

If your mother asks you for an explanation about your relationship with your brother, you can tell her, "He and I don't really see eye-to-eye. He doesn't seem very interested in me or my life, but if he is good to you, then I'm happy about that."

I hope you can find a way to establish a separate peace, understanding that -- despite his fine opinion of himself -- your brother is flawed. You don't need to be friends, but you are siblings. As your mother ages, you will occasionally be forced to deal with one another. It would be easiest for you if you could find a detached and cordial way to communicate with him, without really caring too much what he thinks of himself -- or you.

Dear Amy: I laughed at your politically correct answer to "New Girl with a Moral Dilemma," who reported that her co-workers are racist. She didn't offer one example of their alleged racism, and yet you took her side. You should have suggested that she befriend these co-workers and attempt to understand them.

-- Laughing

Dear Laughing: Well, maybe these co-workers should befriend "New Girl," instead of shunning her over her own progressive views.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)