Sister loses sleep over unethical relationship
Dear Sleepless: You will lose less sleep if you embrace the fact that your sister's relationship really has nothing to do with you. This might be what she is trying to get at when she asks you not to judge her.
You see this relationship as flawed and unethical (I do, too). Your sister is a party to the pain caused by infidelity and the possible breakup of a marriage.
If your sister asks for your endorsement, you need only state your own truth: "I want you to be happy, but your happiness seems to be contingent on other people getting hurt. I believe that this is unethical."
You don't have intimate knowledge about this man's marriage (she doesn't, either).
Be extremely circumspect. Don't speculate about the future (the future is her problem). If this couple ends up together, long term, you may have to face him as a family member. You don't need to agree with or endorse this relationship, but you may have to accept it.
Dear Amy, I am a 61-year-old happily married woman with two grown sons. Several years ago I took an early retirement in order to be available to my recently widowed mother.
I have one brother who is also married with his own family. He sees my mother every other Sunday for breakfast.
He presents as a narcissist: He is the best son, his family is the best, his wife is great, etc.
Because of his general attitude and blatant disrespect for me and my family, I have chosen to disengage from him and not have any contact.
How do I tell my mother?
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