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Facebook message creates marital mess

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

He doesn't know I have found the latest messages yet. I'm not sure if he is just FB flirting or if he is seriously looking for someone else.

I have been putting money away to be prepared for anything that comes next, but I love him. I am also realistic, and understand that he may not love me or care about "us" anymore. Any advice?

-- Facebook Furious

Dear Furious: Your narrative outlines a marital standoff in your home. You've accused your husband of contact with an old girlfriend, and he denies it. (Let's stipulate that his denial is not credible.)

I'm wondering what could be worse for your relationship than the way you two are currently conducting it. I'm not blaming you for quietly seething while you squirrel away divorce money. But I am wondering what you're waiting for.

Confrontation can seem frightening, especially if you're afraid of facing the truth -- that your marriage might have gone stale, that you don't trust your husband, and can't stand to sleep with him. But confrontation and its consequences must be better than this.

 

You should be completely transparent about your fears, and invite your husband into counseling with you.

Dear Amy: We visited relatives out of the country three years ago and ran short of local currency. Many places did not take our credit card.

The relative covered many costs that we should have shared.

When they visited us in the U.S., we took them to dinner.

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