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At dinner I wanted to offer apologizes and reimburse them, but my husband was adamantly against it.

Now, three years later there is much animosity toward us, which is understandable.

Is it too late to issue my apology and try to reimburse the relative? How should I proceed?

-- Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed: It is not too late to apologize and make this right. You should contact your relatives, apologize for the delay, tell them you are embarrassed by this, and repay what you owe them.

Dear Amy: I was very upset by the letter from "Sick of This," who reported that she was extremely burdened by clearing out the "clutter" from elderly or deceased family members.

I am old; my place, by Sick's standards, may be a mess, but it's my mess and I like it because it took 65 years for my husband and me to create -- and it's what I need.

I need this mess because when I see my late-husband's pliers on the garage floor, I remember that he left them there when he told me he loved my shirt because it was the same color of lipstick that I wore on our wedding day. They still lay on the garage floor because he was too close to death to remember to put them away.

--Missing Him

Dear Missing Him: I totally understand. And thank you for sharing this touching tribute to a beautiful union.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)