Molly Ringwald and Panio Gianopoulos vowed not to have contempt for each other to keep their marriage healthy.

The couple got hitched in July 2007 after talking about books with mutual pals in an online literary salon in the early 2000s, followed by a series of email exchanges, and they outlined a set of simple rules to build a strong relationship.

The 58-year-old actress has since passed on the values to their daughter Mathilda, 23, and their 17-year-old fraternal twins Adele and Roman.

Molly told People: "I think the secret is to make sure that you take care of your relationship, to communicate.

"I always tell my kids, it's not worrying about whether or not you fight, it's how you fight. Something we always keep in mind is treating each other with respect, not speaking to each other ever with contempt, no name-calling.

"You can say, 'You're acting like a blah, blah, blah right now,' but you can't say, 'You are a blah, blah, blah.'"

The Breakfast Club star and the 51-year-old author have banned themselves from saying one word to each other.

Molly shared: "We also stay away from the word 'always.' Don't say, 'You always do this,' or, 'You always do that.'

"It's all work, but hopefully it pays off."

The Sixteen Candles alum likened a strong and healthy relationship to maintaining a garden.

She explained: "If you water it and fertilise it, and if you give it everything that it needs, I think if it's the right person, it flourishes."

Molly and Panio welcomed Mathilda in October 2003, with Adele and Roman being born six years later.

In August, the Pretty in Pink entertainer revealed the one piece of dating advice she has given her firstborn.

She told E! News: "The dating advice I always give her is just to be herself, and also to respect yourself and not to do anything she doesn't want to do."

Laughing, Mathilda added: "Oh, she's like, 'No second chances, don't put up with all that.'"

Hugging her mum, she continued: "I feel like you're very strict."

Before meeting Panio, Molly was married to writer Valery Lameignere from 1999 until 2002.