Q: My ex and I bought a house together two years ago when we were still a couple. We are both on the deed and on the mortgage. Now we have split up and moved out, and she refuses to either sell the house or buy me out. I am still paying half the mortgage on a home I cannot live in. How do I force the issue and get my money out? — Andre

A: You are not the first person to be trapped like this, and the law does offer you a way out. When two people own property together and cannot agree on what to do with it, either owner can ask a court to step in and divide it. This is called a partition action.

Because a house cannot be cut in half, the court almost always orders the property sold and the net proceeds divided between the owners.

A partition is not automatically a 50-50 split. The court can account for who actually paid for what, so if you put in more of the down payment or have carried more than your share of the mortgage, taxes, insurance and repairs, you can ask the court to credit you for those amounts before dividing the money.

Keep careful records of everything you have paid, because that documentation is what turns a rough even split into a number that reflects what you actually contributed.

The harder problem is the mortgage. Being taken off the deed, or even a court order to sell the house, does not remove you from the loan. You both promised to repay the debt, and the lender can hold either of you responsible for the full balance, regardless of what a judge says about the property or what you two agree to.

Until the house is sold or the loan is refinanced into her name alone, your credit depends on whether she pays. This means that even if she refuses to pay more than half, you may still have to continue paying.

Before you file anything, try to resolve it directly, because a negotiated sale or buyout is almost always faster and cheaper than a lawsuit.

Offer to sell her your share, ask to buy hers or agree to list the house and split the proceeds after the loan is paid. If she agrees, you should turn this into a written contract, perhaps with the help of an attorney.

If she still will not cooperate, you will have to file the partition action, and the filing alone is often enough to bring a stubborn co-owner to the negotiating table.

Whatever path you take, make refinancing or paying off the mortgage part of the deal so that once the house is sold or refinanced, you are no longer responsible for the loan.

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