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Get Fired Faster -- With AI!

Business / Bob Goldman /

Getting fired used to take lots of work.

You had to screw up continually before your managers even noticed you were goofing off. Then they had to prove it. "Document, document, document" was the war cry of the HR department. Months of bad performance had to be tracked before your name could be added to the "wouldn't it be nice to fire" list. ...Read more

These Essentials Will Let You Not Work From Anywhere

Business / Bob Goldman /

"Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in."

That's what Al Pacino so famously says in "The Godfather Part III." He's bemoaning the fate of Michael Corleone, who thought he had gotten out of a life of crime, only to be dragged back in.

It's also what millions of remote workers say when they thought they had gotten out of a life ...Read more

You Don't Need No Stinking Coffee-Badges!

Business / Bob Goldman /

If you work at Amazon, my sympathies. Andy Jassy, the CEO of the retail behemoth, just issued an ukase demanding that all employees come into the office five days a week.

This refers to employees who work in offices, of course. The hordes of Amazonians out on the roads, delivering packages, are exempt. While it must annoy management to free ...Read more

Don't Just Sit There. Retire.

Business / Bob Goldman /

You can see it. You can taste it. You can sit it on your lap and tickle its toes.

Retirement! Sweet retirement!

Here's the plan -- you work hard today, so tomorrow you can play. Of course, it's a tomorrow that can be 10, 20 or 40 years in the future, but it really doesn't matter. Work your fingers to the bone. Sacrifice dreams, ignore ...Read more

Move Over, Sam Spade. The HR Supersleuth is Here.

Business / Bob Goldman /

"2-Hour Virtual Seminar on Workplace Investigations: How to Conduct Your Investigation like a Pro."

"As an employer you have a duty to investigate...but what if you have a recalcitrant complainant, wrongdoer or witness?" -- HRTraininngs

It was a dark and stormy day.

I was sitting in my office in the HR department, trying ...Read more

Managing To Be a Manager

Business / Bob Goldman /

Let's face it: It's taken a lot of time and effort for you to become the perfect employee.

And it has definitely been worth it.

Your co-workers trust you. Your bosses ignore you. Everything is wonderful, everywhere you go. But then something happens to ruin it all.

You get a big, fat promotion.

Don't blame me! If you read this column ...Read more

Reference This

Business / Bob Goldman /

When are they going to pop the question?

I'm not talking trivialities, like when your sweetie asks, "Will you marry me?" or when Mr. Rogers asks, "Will You Be My Neighbor?"

No, I'm talking about a major ask -- "Will you be my reference?"

It's flattering when a co-worker sees you as reference material. The problems begin when the only thing ...Read more

When Your PIP Becomes a RIP

Business / Bob Goldman /

You didn't do anything wrong.

Not much, anyway. And what you did screw up really wasn't your fault.

Still, you got the blame. Worse, you got the PIP.

PIP. It stands for "performance improvement plan." While a PIP is supposed to be a positive, proactive mechanism for erasing blunders and securing your future with the company, it can also be ...Read more

Is Your Boss a Lunchable?

Business / Bob Goldman /

What could be more risky than having lunch with your boss?

It could certainly go well, giving you the opportunity to show the person who controls your future what a deep, caring and wonderful employee you are, but the more likely outcome -- the much more likely outcome -- is that all you will show is what a shallow, uncaring and awful ...Read more

Rebrand Yourself. It's Later Than You Think.

Business / Bob Goldman /

It's not enough!

These days, you need more than a great resume, awesome reccos, a winning personality, unbounded energy, unbridled accomplishments and a fashion sense that has made you the envy of your office. These days, you also need a brand.

According to Rice University, "a brand is the distinct set of feelings, perceptions, attitudes and...Read more

Are You Young Enough To Retire?

Business / Bob Goldman /

You've been waiting forever. Is today the day you finally do it?

Let's check the calendar.

Do you have a big meeting today? A critical lunch? A major nap break in the supply closet that you simply cannot miss? "No." "No." And "Maybe."

If your calendar for today is a big black hole, I have a suggestion.

Make today the day you retire.

Sure,...Read more

 

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