The Farmer in the Deli

Business / Bob Goldman /

I understand.

Every week, you anxiously await the high quality advice this column provides on how to succeed at your job.

Well, not today. Not yet, anyway.

Today, we're first going to talk about my job! Not my job as a highly paid, hugely popular columnist, but my real job. That's right. I am not the stylish sophisticate you think I am. ...Read more

My New Job

Business / Bob Goldman /

Don't just sit there. Congratulate me! I have just received a surprise email offering me a sensational new job as a "Logistics Supervisor" in a booming, dynamic company that offers excellent pay, superb benefits and is 100 percent committed to my success.

I will admit that the fact that I don't know the person who sent the email, Beverly Davis,...Read more

Think Small

Business / Bob Goldman /

What would it take to make you perfectly happy at work? A 150 percent raise? A mandatory 2-month vacation with pay? The CEO coming into your cubical and, confessing that he could never run the company as well as you, handing you the keys to his executive office, his executive Tesla, and his golden parachute, all six trillion dollars of it?

...Read more

Looking for Fun? Go to Work.

Business / Bob Goldman /

There are many things a reasonable person expects from a job -- bad coffee, a chintzy salary, nosey HR people and, of course, a manager with anger management issues.

There is one thing not even an unreasonable person expects from a job -- fun.

Yes, work is not fun, which is one reason they call it "work."

If work were fun, then they wouldn'...Read more

Hire Me. Hire Me Not.

Business / Bob Goldman /

Your boss is an idiot. The entire executive team is composed of morons.

How do we know this?

They hired you, didn't they?

Think of it this way -- if your company's management wasn't so incompetent, you would never have gotten past the front door.

What if these nitwits ever wise up? What if they figure out who to hire? Even worse, what if ...Read more

A Side Gig on the Side

Business / Bob Goldman /

Just when you think you've experienced every crazy thing that can happen in the workplace, something mega-crazy shows up.

In this case, the mega-crazy showed up on The Muse website in the form of a Rachel Bitte post, "4 Questions Smart People Ask About Side Gigs (So They Don't Lose Their Jobs.)"

If Bitte is right, there are actually people ...Read more

The Pause That Refreshes

Business / Bob Goldman /

Stop everything!

No matter what you are doing, stop. And if you are not doing anything, as is usually the case, start. Then you'll have something to stop, which is what you must do.

You must take a break. You must unplug yourself from the demands of your job. You must, in a word, take a "pause."

Pause is not my word, and it's not my idea, ...Read more

Slump Dump

Business / Bob Goldman /

Hey, I loved "The Hills" as much as any other rugged, macho highly sensitive dude or dudette, but I never thought I'd be taking career advice from Lauren Conrad.

Spencer? Sure.

Audrina? You bet!

But Lauren? It was only when I read a recent post on that I discovered that Lauren does have a lot to teach me. (I also learned that you ...Read more

Will Your Body Please Shut Up?

Business / Bob Goldman /

I hear you, elbow. I'm listening, kneecap. Good point, eyebrow.

Like it or not, your body is talking.

While you have developed mad skills at lying through your teeth, the rest of your body speaks the truth. This leads to many critical "tells" that your workplace enemies can use against you in determining whether to believe what they're ...Read more

Have Less. Earn More.

Business / Bob Goldman /

A new year is upon us and it's time to make important life decisions.

Like working -- that's definitely got to go. Work takes a lot of time, and if it's no longer fun to drag yourself out of bed in the morning and trudge into a job you hate, this is the year to let it go.

No question, you'll be a happier you. And you won't ever miss another ...Read more

Born to Be Wildly Unprofessional

Business / Bob Goldman /

Really, you ought to be proud

After years of unstinting effort, you have developed a reputation as someone who is unprofessional. You're unprofessional in the way you work. You don't really do any work. You're unprofessional in the way you think. You do really do any thinking, either.

Certainly, company management expected a modicum of ...Read more

Annual Review Toodle-oo

Business / Bob Goldman /

Hey, Mr. Rob Walker -- I have a bone to pick with you.

In fact, when it comes to picking bones, I've got an entire skeleton.

As the author of "The Workologist" column in The New York Times, Walker provides answers to workplace questions the readers send in. (Readers don't send me questions, but they do send fruitcakes. This really has to ...Read more

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