Will 25-year milestone bring a second wind?

I don’t solve crossword puzzles or memorize sports statistics, so relentlessly brainstorming puns and fine-tuning song parodies are my way of keeping mentally sharp. I THINK I came into the room to write this paragraph. Or was it to stop the spaghetti from boiling over? Decisions, decisions.

My long-suffering wife accommodates my need for time to research, outline, write and proofread. I would hate to lose my excuse for reading three newspapers a day or staying up late. (“Never know when this two-paragraph news item about the prince of Liechtenstein postponing a speech about watching paint dry will come in handy. Could be comedy gold!”)

As I continue to hone my satirical jabs, I aspire to show my mother (age 96) that there are more nuanced ways of getting a point across than some of her unfiltered utterances. Honest, she recently told a casual acquaintance, “I’m glad you got your hair cut. It makes you look HUMAN.” Bless her heart – and gag her mouth.

Seriously, I’m glad my mother has lived to see me collect 75 of my favorite essays into “Tyree’s Tyrades!: 25 Years of Love and Laughter,” available in paperback and ebook from Amazon.

Makes a great stocking stuffer. Fits waaay better than a weaver’s loom.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”