Ready for history’s Valentine hall of shame?

Danny Tyree on Feb 1, 2023

Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, who exclaimed, “If whatever doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger, I ought to be freakin’ Superman after paying for that stretch limo!”

J.R.R. Tolkien, who made the excuse, “My knee hurts too much, and who cares about a ring, anyway?”

Martin Luther, who encouraged his date to be uninhibited and “Dance like nobody’s posting negative reviews of it on the church door.”

Benjamin Franklin, who groused, “Who really needs a candlelit dinner? Here, hold this kite string.”

Karl Marx, who mansplained, “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs. Wait, do you really need another pair of pumps?”

Try your best to have a fun Valentine’s Day. Think positive thoughts, rather than dwelling on poor Galileo Galilei, who gushed, “I dropped everything to be with you tonight. Unfortunately, I dropped it off the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa without yelling, ‘Look out below!’”

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”