Do you like what you’re hearing on TV?

Danny Tyree on May 11, 2022

Producers insist that these jarring rounds of subtitles are necessary for the “realism” of the show. Hey, if I’m watching a miniseries about an elf traveling to the dawn of time with an honest politician, the realism train has probably already left the station.

Even worse, some artsy directors insist on long stretches of non-English dialogue with nothing except facial expressions and gestures to give you the gist of what’s going on. Scan your own groceries. Translate your own dialogue. Truly, we live in a wonderful age. Next, we’ll perform our own autopsies.

Unfortunately, foreign actors speaking exclusively in English is not a cure-all. Casting directors love actors who have an accent so overpowering you can hear the sound of your ears bleeding. It’s like Chaucer’s “Canterbury Tales” processed through Ye Olde Drive-Thru Speaker.

From Eddie Haskell to J.R. Ewing to today’s scoundrels, I have always thought there were some characters who needed a “come to Jesus moment.” Now I think there are characters who desperately need a “come to Henry Higgins” moment.

Let’s do something about this situation.

I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell: “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not gonna…be able to be heard over the commercials!”

*Sigh*

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”