Life Advice



Single File: Church as Connection

Susan Dietz on

You can commune with God as you perceive Him while you're out walking or riding in a car -- anytime the need surfaces. Out of that fundamental craving for connection comes a deeper hunger to go beyond known boundaries and reach a level higher than human.

That hunger I call "churchness" draws some people toward one another, and their common pursuit forms a linkage like no other. This is why I suggest that you go to your house of worship soon to discover those who find their churchness together. I am hoping that visit will be the beginning of a new connection in your life. I'd like to suggest making your first churchness experience a service followed by a reception; that could make it easier for you to introduce yourself as a newcomer and mingle as such. Consider meeting with the spiritual leader beforehand, so they are prepared to make introductions for you.

Ahem. Even if formal worship sounds corny to you, go once for my sake; you know by now I wouldn't steer you wrong. Only in this society that worships "coolness" could the benefits of spiritual seeking earn such little interest and respect. So please reconsider your initial coolness and give churchness a try on an evening you feel at loose ends. Your flexibility could lead you to some very nice people and positive thinking. Churchness could become the crown jewel in your connection collection, the one you can rely on to bring out the very best in yourself every time. In fact, it could very well become the ultimate connection between you and yourself, between you and your God, for all the seasons of your life.

Living single in America has changed. Where once the solo person was regarded as an oddball, a reject, a strange breed few would mingle with, the option of not marrying -- never marrying -- has earned a rightful place of dignity here in our country. Money is tight and responsibilities are increasing (caring for parents and children simultaneously, many find themselves sandwiched between generations and doing what they can to help both.)

And so, legalities and societal approval have receded in the minds of most and given way to fiscal imperatives.


Whether this will be a positive for single people remains to be seen. Moi? Color me optimistic.

To be continued ...


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