You didn’t do wrong though. These intimate experiences are normal and healthy parts of relationships. The most critical lesson here is about handling the unexpected with grace (and a good lock).

So, here’s your game plan: Learn to laugh it off. And maybe give your dad a hug—it's a silent way of saying, "We both wish that never happened,” without having to revive the memory.

This will pass. And someday, I promise, it will just be a funny story you tell at parties.

Dear Anna,

Is there a polite way to tell a friend that I’m tired of listening to her damn on-again, off-again drama —Not Obligated To Entertain Annoyances

Dear NOTEA,

The general formula is: Empathize with your friend/the situation, but assert a firm boundary, then change the subject.

“I love you, but we’re not talking about this again. Tell me about [pick a topic/issue].”

“I want nothing but the best for you, but I can’t talk about this anymore/right now/tonight. How’s [change of topic]?”

“I feel you, but let’s not go there.”

"I treasure our friendship, but I feel like we've walked down this road before. How about we [change of topic]?”

Your friend may keep trying to talk about it and you might need to assert this boundary over and over, but if you’re kind yet firm, they should eventually take the hint and STFU.

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