Ask Amy: Retired man wants to smell, not plant, the roses
I am not bitter at all about our arrangement, but now I want to enjoy my retirement.
We're in our late 60s and have the time and energy now to enjoy our life.
If I want to avoid working around the house 25 to 30 hours a week, am I in the wrong?
Again, she won't accept outside help or downsizing, both of which I am for.
– Probably Lazy
Dear Probably Lazy: This phase of your life is called “retirement,” and if you want to spend less time planting the roses and more time smelling them, you should!
Your wife should also spend this phase of life doing what she wants to do.
For gardeners, time spent in the garden is “… like a beach” (to paraphrase Emily Dickinson). What looks like work to you might be a great joy for her.
You and your wife should have a formal sit-down meeting where you mutually agree to assess where you are and discuss where you are headed. This should be the first in many conversations about your future.
You left your office when you retired, but when your life’s work is maintaining a household and garden, you are always surrounded by a never-ending chore list.
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