Ask Amy: Sister dynamic remains family secret
One of her sons was in my class in our small high school. She was extremely active in our church, and as her health started failing, we did what we could to visit with her and be helpful to her family.
This probably sounds like a silly problem, but her family has decided not to have any kind of service for her. They said this was her wish.
Some of us in town are somewhat surprised and feeling a little hurt about this.
I’d like to encourage the family to have a memorial service of some kind, but that seems like an overreach.
What do you think?
– Sad
Dear Sad: Telling a family what to do after the death of a parent in order to soothe the community is definitely an overreach.
You and other members of your community might want to hold a simple, non-religious sharing circle (for lack of another term) as a way to mark your friend’s passing. Perhaps you could plant a tree in a prominent space and dedicate it to her (her children might want to attend, if they are local).
Dear Amy: I am so proud of “Judgmental Teenager” for recognizing what's coming naturally to her and seeking help to change it.
I was raised in a very judgmental home.
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