Ask Amy: Sons’ calls trigger mom’s anxiety
I live far away from restaurants, so eating out every meal isn’t an option, plus when we do, I end up paying for everyone.
While I enjoy seeing them, I need some way to let them know that a three- to four-day stay is long enough.
They don’t think they are any trouble, but it’s too much for me.
What can I do without hurting their feelings or make them feel unwanted?
— Nervous
Dear Nervous: I receive so many questions about people who invite themselves for extended stays in others’ homes!
I’m going to assume that your annual guests might believe that they have a standing invitation because they’ve been doing this for so long.
You’ve been waiting on them for years now (and paying for their meals when you eat out)! They have NO incentive to do things differently.
You have feelings too! Perhaps it's time for you to honor your own feelings.
You need to tell them: “A week-long stay is too much for me, now. I also no longer cook for people. I do want to see you, but let’s talk about ways to make your visits easier on me.”
Dear Amy: Like “Cleaning in Culver City,” who was going through old letters, I started going through old photos. I gave them to the people pictured in them. I think we all enjoyed these trips down “memory lane.”
— Photo Sensitive
Dear Photo Sensitive: Regarding old photos: Youthful looks are almost always appealing (or amusing). Youthful thoughts often lead to discomfort.
========
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2023 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
