Ask Amy: Sons’ calls trigger mom’s anxiety
Relationships with your children represent life’s longest game, and so you have to find healthy ways to pace yourself — otherwise your heart will stop every time your phone rings, and you’ll have a panic attack over every fender bender.
Mind you, the only thing worse than the phone ringing, is the phone NOT ringing, and in that regard you have an enviable relationship with these young men.
The fact that they honestly share their trials and concerns with you means that they will likely be good partners and parents if they choose that path.
When your sons share (or overshare) about challenges in their lives, ask yourself: Do I need to act? Am I being asked to do anything?
You should then focus on your anxious reactions. Talking it through with a therapist could help; I would also suggest paying close attention to how your body feels when you are getting anxious. Does your breath quicken, does your heart race?
Controlling your breathing can help you to mitigate some of these symptoms and let some of these feelings go.
Also remember: Your sons will fall. They will fail. Their paths to “success” may not look familiar to you.
Do they know how anxious you are? Being as honest with them as they are with you might inspire them to volunteer more reassurances, and fewer reasons to worry.
Dear Amy: I live in a popular winter vacation area, and I have guest(s) who invite themselves and stay for seven days.
They don’t want to do anything but enjoy the sunshine, so that leaves me cooking every meal.
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