Ask Amy: Family wants to avoid in-laws’ drinking
You refuse to enable your brother-in-law’s drinking, or to even be around him if he might be drinking. That’s an understandable choice.
The next step in your own path should be to accept the messy reality of this family, without clinging to the notion that you might have the power to change their reality. Stand down. Give yourself a break. In addition to therapy, you and your husband might benefit from Al-anon meetings. (Check Al-anon.org)
Dear Amy: My friend (who is one year younger) has a habit of telling me she's "proud" of me for doing big and small things.
I bought a house and she said she was proud of me. I said I was going out of town, and she said she was proud of me.
I heard her once tell another friend that she thought her house was "adorable.”
I can't exactly tell if she means to belittle people or if I'm blowing it out of proportion. Thoughts?
– NOT Adorable
Dear NOT: My sense is that your friend is unaware that her comments come off as patronizing.
“I’m proud of you” may be her stand-in for “I’m happy for you.”
I’m unsure of what is so off-putting about calling someone’s house “adorable,” and in that instance you seem to be hypersensitive about your friend’s word choices.
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