Ask Amy: A possible stepmother worries about favoritism
– Conflicted Girlfriend in Tennessee
Dear Conflicted: No you should not stay with someone who refuses to accept any responsibility regarding conflicts, and who blames and punishes his children if you become upset.
Both of these parents seem quite flawed – for instance, using a 9-year-old to convey a message regarding pulling her father into court shows poor judgment on the mother’s part.
You are someone outside these family units who nonetheless has an inside view and a valid point of view regarding these children.
When pondering life in the longer term with this man, I’d like you to imagine the next 10 years with three children growing into challenging adolescent and teen years, with you trying to mediate on the kids’ behalf between two warring parents, with at least one of these parents unwilling to even consider altering his behavior, even when it threatens to harm his relationship with his family.
You should be with someone who is willing to co-parent through conflict, because when it comes to stepparenting, if you don’t work as a team, you don’t work.
Dear Amy: My husband was recently diagnosed with cancer (for the second time).
While we have been assured that this is not a death sentence, we have an unpredictable journey ahead of us with tests, treatments, lifestyle changes, and so on.
Would you please ask your readers not to dismiss news like this?
One person said to me, "Oh, that cancer is nothing!"
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