Ask Amy: Requesting a wedding ‘plus one’ is awkward
Children who don’t respect a parent’s right to make choices – even poor ones – are assuming control over the relationship. Sometimes they will even shamelessly use access to grandchildren as the anvil dangling over a parent’s head.
And parents who let their children do this have failed in their own responsibility to assert their own rights and command respect.
Yes – sometimes parents do push back against this kind of control. Doing so while recognizing their children’s points of view, addressing their concerns, and moving at an appropriate and determined pace can help everyone to adjust.
Dear Amy: I read a lot of the letters regarding weddings and it makes me shake my head.
When I was younger and my cousins (who were mostly older than me) were getting married, it was a time of great joy.
We had bridal showers at nice venues with a nice lunch.
There were parties for the attendants.
Absolutely EVERYONE was invited to the wedding and reception.
Family squabbles or not, the whole family was invited: Babies, teenagers, exes – you name it. And we had a ball.
We all pitched in on babysitting so parents could dance. If there was a major conflict, it got settled in the parking lot.
It seems to me that the wedding is about making your vows to each other before God, and sharing your joy with those who love you, those people you love, and the people they love.
– Just my Opinion
Dear JMO: Beautifully put. Thank you.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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