Ask Amy: Elder exes want to reignite their flame
He is baiting the hook. Don’t bite.
Your task here is to find ways to detach from his behavior and manage your own frustration.
Don’t judge him for being late. Just see his lateness as being part of who he is. And yes, his lateness must come off as rude and inconsiderate to people who are waiting for him, but you should not be one of those people waiting for him. You are not in charge of him.
The less pressure he feels from you, the more responsibility he might assume to try harder to be prompt. But – maybe not.
Dear Amy: A mother wrote to you that she was "disappointed" that her sons do not seem to remember her birthday unless they are told to. I once asked my mother why she never called or sent me a card on my birthday.
She responded: "I'm the one who gave birth and brought you into this world. You should be calling and thanking me." From that point on I did – and we would laugh.
– A Grateful Son
Dear Grateful: This was a solid burn. I give you much credit for receiving it with grace and humor. You were obviously raised well.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2023 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
