Ask Amy: Kindly atheist just wants to say ‘no’
However, I have a second sister who will be hosting the holiday events, and it will break her heart if I refuse to go if that man is in attendance.
Should I suck it up and go, or stick to my conviction and celebrate the holiday with my husband and daughters?
I grew up around a violent and abusive man and witnessed the repercussions of alcoholism via my grandmother.
I don’t want my girls experiencing that trauma.
What is your advice?
– Torn
Dear Torn: Only you can realistically assess your ability to handle the stress and anxiety that being in this man’s presence will engender.
But you also need to decide whether you will let him control you and keep you away from family gatherings.
If you want to be with your family but choose to stay away because he will be there – then he has bullied you into a corner.
If you truly want to stay away – definitely do that. But you could also stake a claim to go where you want to go, and if the occasion takes a turn that you don’t like – you can leave. As I often say (especially around the holidays), always keep track of your coat and keys.
...continued
