Ask Amy: Kindly atheist just wants to say ‘no’
– Done with Religion
Dear Done: The honest and kind way to bow out respectfully would be to RSVP: “I’m so sorry I can’t attend, please pass along my congratulations to the twins. Now – they are men!”
My point is that when you are declining an invitation, you don’t need to supply a reason. It is somewhat unusual for a host to follow up to ask, “Well, why can’t you attend?”
If your friend does ask, you can say, “As you know, I’m an atheist. I don’t attend religious ceremonies. I realize this might be somewhat awkward, and I recognize this is extremely important in your family, but I need to decline. But I’m also very honored by the invitation.”
Dear Amy: My husband and I had children later in life.
We moved closer to our family to raise our children with relatives.
Around my younger girl’s first birthday my older sister started dating a man. They are a toxic brew.
I don’t like his past, which includes multiple arrests for domestic violence and robbery, and I don’t like who my sister becomes when she’s around him.
They drink and have big fights.
The holidays are coming up and I don’t want this man in my life.
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