ArcaMax

Dear Amy: For years I have wanted to switch companies for a different position. The company I was interested in approached me out of the blue and offered me a great job. After several meetings and detailing all the particulars I gave notice to my current employer and while they were extremely disappointed, they wished me well.

Once I was scheduled to begin the new position, I froze and was overcome with anxiety. Most of it was the regret of hurting the employers who had been very nice to me over the years, as well as the fear of having to learn all different systems, which felt overwhelming at the time.

I told the new company I needed to put this new start date off a couple of months (which they were fine with) and told my current employers I would stay while I thought things through.

They were thrilled and have done everything to make my job better. I am beyond grateful to both companies for handling this so well, and I am happy to not be forced to choose until I am ready.

I am now overcome with shame, embarrassment and just feel like a dope.

Eventually I will want to try out this new position, but I fear that when I am ready it is going to be even harder to leave the Old Company since they are now pulling out all the stops to make me happy!

I have dug an even deeper hole. If I had just left when I got the offer, I’d be OK by now.

I feel so foolish for not seizing a great opportunity and at the same time want to be fair to both, but I’m not sure how to make the move later when I’m having such a hard time now?

– Mortified

Dear Mortified: If New Company had refused your request to delay your start time, you’d have made your choice and adjusted to all the frightening changes by now.

...continued