Ask Amy: Soon-to-be ex ponders divorce disclosure

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Sep 18, 2022

Any suggestions for how to handle this? Or is this just the way things are?

– Mary

Dear Mary: Modern protocol suggests that if a caller is on speaker phone and more than one person is in the room, the caller should be informed: “Hi – you’re on speaker and Tina is here with me.”

Your husband’s relatives aren’t doing that, so he should ask at the outset: “How is Tina – is she in the room with you?” Greeting her at the outset of the call might inspire her to move along.

Using video calling would at least give him some knowledge of other people in the vicinity.

If your husband has something private to discuss, he should say so. If he merely wants to have a one-on-one conversation of no particular consequence (understandable), he could ask his relative: “Would you mind calling me back sometime when you’re alone? I feel a little self-conscious walking down memory lane with other people in the room.”

Dear Amy: Responding to the issue of handling predatory charity solicitations directed toward elders, my mom got tons of mail like that.

I found out that it was because when they called her and asked if she would pledge (an amount of) money to them, she always said yes.

I told her to say no, but she just couldn't, she's too nice, and a people-pleaser.

My sisters gathered up all the mail, and I called each charity and explained that she was never going to pay them, and they were just wasting their time and money.

They were all very understanding, and took her off their calling and mailing lists.

– Called Them Out

Dear Called Them Out: This was a good and proactive solution to a persistent problem.

========

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)