Ask Amy: Audacious text message leads to blunt response
At this point, without discussing his behavior or hers, you should talk to her sincerely about how this has made you feel: “This text exchange made me very sad and angry. I’m worried about our relationship, and I’m trying to protect it.”
Dear Amy: You recently wrote: “I have mentioned this many times (especially lately), but the ubiquity of DNA testing is basically coming for everyone. Each of us should try to anticipate the possibility of being contacted by DNA relatives.”
Our situation is that an uncle who was an ob-gyn donated sperm to a bank many times throughout his career. (He's 94 now.)
Children that were conceived from his generosity and kindness are NOT our relatives! They are members of the family that raised them!
This seeking out of bio parents, in many instances, is an invasion of privacy and totally disrespects the love, sacrifice and support of the family they were raised with.
– DNA isn’t Everything
Dear DNA: You say your physician uncle donated to a sperm bank. I assume he was NOT a fertility doctor. (If he was a fertility doctor using his own sperm to inseminate women without their consent, then he was not “kind and generous,” but a liar and a criminal.)
If dozens of infertile couples within his own community used his donations to conceive, these children all have important reasons to learn their DNA heritage.
DNA-related siblings growing up in the same community could conceive children together and face extreme health, emotional, and social consequences.
So buck up. Any people coming forward may not be family members of yours – but they are related to you.
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