Ask Amy: Audacious text message leads to blunt response
To me, however, that man went way over the top.
Did I do the right thing, or was I being meddlesome?
– Just Wondering
Dear Wondering: Your wife shared this man’s text message and her reply, which you describe as “overly polite.” I interpret her message differently.
In its ambiguity, “Perhaps some other time” can be read as something of an invitation.
The politeness she extended was to this acquaintance, but not necessarily to you.
In response, you stewed about this for weeks and then acted out in anger toward both of them.
You were trying to protect your marriage by being direct, but your wife is the one who should have drawn a firm boundary around your marriage.
You could have asked her to make a more definitive statement, rather than doing it yourself.
She was honest with you regarding how your behavior made her feel.
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