Ask Amy: Parents’ many thank-you notes are a burden
It’s driving a bigger wedge between us.
What should I do?
– Ingratiating Ingratitude
Dear Ingratiating: Thank-you notes are meant to express gratitude and to provide a moment of joy for the sender and the recipient.
Thank-you notes are not meant to be used as a tool for passive-aggressive people to lord their good manners over others.
A verbal thank you – delivered in-person or via a phone call – should be considered as an adequate and proper thank you, especially when it is expressed to family members whom you see regularly.
It would be nice for you to perhaps prompt the kids to draw/write a message of love for their grandparents and for you to send it through the mail – for no specific reason.
I suggest that your folks might be playing a little “who did it better” game with you. So – declare them the victors! When you see them, you could say: “I got your thank-you notes for dinner. You’re so good at that – and I thank you for understanding that I’ll never keep up.”
Dear Amy: I work closely with a coworker who constantly snorts, coughs, belches and hacks like a cat coughing up a hairball.
This goes on all day, every day.
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