Ask Amy: Pride flag creates confusion for parents

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Jan 25, 2022

They did not get to see their mother while she was hospitalized.

– Concerned Grandfather

Dear Concerned: Your entire family must be reeling.

To a certain extent, you will need to let the reeling happen, and not try to fix it. I hope you will be able to stay calm, centered and compassionate toward all three generations.

It would be appropriate for all grieving family members to attend grief counseling, as soon as possible, and to continue with counseling for as long as they want.

The hospital that treated your daughter-in-law should have recommendations for local in-person or virtual grief groups.

For the children, you might want to introduce them to the book, “The Invisible String, written by Patrice Karst and illustrated by Joanne Lew-Kriethoff (current edition, 2018, Little Brown). This classic picture book might seem a little “young” for your 10-year-old grandchildren, but its message about the love that binds us should resonate with all of you.

I hope that you and your wife can offer these children a port in the storm. Spend a lot of time with them. Establish rituals and routines that they can snuggle into. Encourage them to talk about their mom whenever they want to and in any context.

And you and your wife should freely share happy memories of her, show them childhood photos if they’re interested, and be as centered and stalwart as you are able.

Dear Amy: Regarding the question from “Canine Questions” regarding her boyfriend, who lets his dog roam free, I work with animal control officers who have to go out and talk to people like this gentleman who refuses to contain his dog per the regulations of the city or county he lives in.

Every single city or county in this country has a rule where all dogs must be leashed or contained in areas when outside, up to date on rabies, and licensed.

– Concerned for Canines

Dear Concerned: This also presents considerable risk to the dog, other animals, and humans.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)