Life Advice



Ask Amy: Some scuttlebutt should be shared

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

With his permission, I logged onto his account. He hadn't yet chosen the option to find family members.

The very first family connection was for his biological father, which was a different name than the dad he knows.

I panicked and turned that feature off immediately and have kept this information a secret ever since.

Since my husband had wanted to know the answer for so long, I thought he would take this opportunity to look into it more, but after getting the results of the heritage, he has never really said much about it.

With the possible answer at his fingertips, he is shying away from it, so I don't feel it's my place to tell him.

Should I say something, or leave this alone?


This information could shatter both sides of his family.

– Wish I Didn’t Know

Dear Wish: This is your husband’s journey, and he should control the pace.

Your burden will be to sit on this knowledge with patience and compassion. If there is ever a health-related urgent reason to uncover this DNA parentage, you’ll need to make a fresh choice about what to do.


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