Ask Amy: Some scuttlebutt should be shared
– Everyone Knows But You
Dear Everyone Knows: Yes, you should pass this along, but you should completely detach from the inherent drama, and understand that repeating untrue gossip will definitely backfire and affect your own relationships. (If any of this information came directly from Penny, you could repeat it with confidence.)
You can say, “As you know, Penny and I are neighbors and I want you to know that there is some neighborhood scuttlebutt concerning her. I feel very uncomfortable both holding onto this and also passing it along, but because it has to do with your mother, I want for you to decide whether you want to hear it from me. I don’t even know if it is true, but if I were you, I think I would want to hear it.”
Your DIL may say, “I’m not interested.” If so, respect her choice.
If she says she wants to hear it, tell her about the marriage. Her mother’s remarriage has legal and financial ramifications that could affect the family.
I would not repeat the other family-related gossip, unless you hear it directly from Penny. I hope you will encourage your daughter-in-law to keep in closer touch with her mother.
Dear Amy: My husband has always suspected the man he's always known as his dad is not his biological father, although this knowledge would break his dad’s heart.
We both decided to do a DNA test.
His results showed him being very different than the family’s ethnicity.
I wanted to link my husband’s profile to mine, in order to have all of the information together.