Ask Amy: Aunt is triggered by trans teen’s trauma
This would be especially important to a trans person.
You and your husband should continue to provide a loving, safe and stable home. Listen with patience and compassion, without insisting (or expecting) that S should relate to you on your level.
You two adults should take care of your own relationship and gradually loosen the strings, so S has the experience of emerging with a degree of independence – while still experiencing your home as a safe place where they are loved and accepted.
Dear Amy: The holidays are coming up and our daughter (in college) has let us know that she has a “serious” boyfriend whom she would like us to meet.
We are of course eager to meet him, but my wife and I are already very nervous about this.
He lives about an hour away and will be visiting us during the college break.
We are concerned. What if we don’t like him?
– Dad on Tenterhooks
Dear Dad: The glib answer is: If you don’t like him, then you shouldn’t date him. This response is a reminder that your daughter is the primary actor in this drama. You have a walk-on role. Go easy.
If you use a scale of 10 to judge people, let this young person start out with a score of seven. No matter what, he gets a seven, because your daughter has chosen him.
...continued
