Life Advice

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Ask Amy: Friend’s husband is a bull in her china shop

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

One: You can ask me about my cancer on Monday, and only Monday.

Two: At home we had rooms designated as “cancer talk-free zones.”

Three: For the well-meaning people with so many solutions pushing herbal remedies, we said that we had found out (which we had) that the interactions of herbs, etc., could affect his medical care, so thanks, but we can’t use all ideas.

It took a while, but conversations from well-intentioned people settled back to “normal,” except on Mondays, when my husband was prepared to face dialogues.

– Maureen

Dear Maureen: These recommendations are so smart!

 

Every person facing serious illness and extended treatment deserves a safe space where they can be who they want to be – and how they want to be.

Your husband was proactive in creating boundaries for himself, but boundaries can also be created and maintained by caregivers.

I’m sure these guidelines will be adopted by many people. Thank you so much for passing them along.

Dear Amy: I appreciate the advice you gave to “Curious,” the woman who described her “situationship” with a man who jerked her around, and then wanted to seek counseling with her – once she had broken up with him.

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