Life Advice

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Ask Amy: Friend’s husband is a bull in her china shop

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I just don't know if I have the patience to put up with Mike for the long run.

– Frustrated Friend

Dear Frustrated: Based on how you describe this, it seems that your connection with “Mike” on social media is a regular trigger for you. So, turn off his microphone! If you aren’t exposed to his constant comments and obnoxious behavior on Facebook, you will be able to put Mike on a shelf until you are forced into his actual company again.

Mike is his own man. His wife “Meg” is not in charge of him, and so why did your other mutual friend report her feelings about the man to Meg, instead of responding to him directly? Don’t make the same mistake.

The unspoken rule about marriage is: “I can criticize my spouse, but if you do, I’ll be forced to defend.”

Meg knows her husband is obnoxious and vulgar. He’s the bull in her china shop.

 

Respond to Mike when you’re in his presence, but continue to develop your friendship with Meg in his absence.

Dear Amy: I’d like to pass along some recommendations for people who are ill and burdened by the well-meaning but often clunky reactions from other people.

When my husband was diagnosed with Stage IV prostate cancer seven years ago, he wanted some control of normalcy in his life.

He created a number of boundaries so he could live his life as fully as possible in a normal way:

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