Ask Amy: Irish dancing leads to an uncomfortable jig
He's apologized profusely, and has asked for forgiveness, but I can't seem to forgive him.
Help, what should I do?
– Expecting
Dear Expecting: The tension now is actually a vestige of his previous infidelities.
People tend to assuage their guilt by accusing others of their own transgressions.
It’s yet another way to let yourself off the hook.
You could break the silence in your household by telling your husband that you are struggling to forgive him for his extremely unfair assumption about you.
Solicit his help – and challenge him – by asking him to provide you with reasons to forgive him. In addition to asking for forgiveness now, he may need to fold in a sincere apology for his previous transgressions.
Dear Amy: "Torn" was conflicted about telling their sister about an early-onset Alzheimer's diagnosis. You advised Torn to not tell.
I disagree. Alzheimer's is genetic, and big sister needs to know about the diagnosis, so she and her doctor can watch for symptoms.
The earlier it is caught, the better.
A better response would be, "I'm telling you this for your sake, not for mine. I have everything handled, and all I need from you is your continued love."
– A Better Take
Dear Better: “Torn” was trying to protect herself from her sister’s overwhelming personality. But you make an excellent point. Thank you.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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