Ask Amy: DNA reveals family secret and resentment
You are currently experiencing the most challenging period of adulthood. You are being asked to confront and manage the chaos of this period without any possible resolution, and so you will have to provide your own.
If your worst assumptions about your father are true, could you manage to find reasons (and ways) to love him, anyway?
Some comfort can come through accepting a simple truism: It is what it is.
It is vital that you and your mother receive respite care and support while dealing with your father’s illness. You should try to develop a small network through local friends and family, members of your faith community, volunteers, and paid caregivers.
The Alzheimer’s Association offers a telephone helpline, as well as a moderated online message board where caregivers ask for and also offer advice. Check alzconnected.org.
Dear Amy: I have an amazing, wonderful and caring boyfriend. When we first started dating, we both were on healthy lifestyle path, but as time went on, we gained some "happy relationship” weight.
We are both very happy and enjoy our time together, but after over two years of complacency, I recently started going back to the gym and am trying to go back to my healthy lifestyle.
My boyfriend loves to bring me surprises, often my favorite food item or drink. These things are usually unhealthy.
I keep telling him to please stop and to only do this once in a blue moon, as I need to look on these things as a treat, but I continue to find myself consuming these treats that he brings home!
I know I can just stop accepting them, but I have done that, and he doesn't stop. How else can I explain to him that I no longer can accept these treats?