Ask Amy: Addict in recovery wonders about disclosure
– Recovered
Dear Recovered: If you had truly left your addiction and recovery in the past, then you wouldn’t still be worrying about it.
But I don’t think you should leave this part of your own history in the past, because you will be in recovery for the rest of your life. This is a rich and important part of your complicated story, and your partner deserves to know this about you.
If you had disclosed your addiction earlier, you would have had the opportunity to open his eyes to the reality of addiction disorder, which many people see as a character flaw, when it is in fact an illness that requires a great deal of discipline (and occasionally medication and rehab support) to recover from.
As it is now, the love of your life may see your deceit by omission as a character flaw, but you cannot have a successful marriage as long as this weighs heavily on your mind.
The fact that you have been “afraid” to bring this up is an impediment to your emotional intimacy.
I hope you will choose to bravely face this now, giving the man you love the opportunity to really know you.
Dear Amy: I recently found out that my fiancé has been tracking me via an app on my phone.
This is an app that he would’ve had to go into my phone to set up and enable.
I haven’t done anything at all to inspire this behavior from him.
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