Ask Amy: New moms are left lonely when family won’t fly
I’m fairly heartbroken about this, even though I recognize how this is a small thing to handle compared to what some have suffered in this pandemic.
– On a Distant Island
Dear Distant: Some people would easily and quickly jump on a plane and fly eight hours just to smell the tops of your babies’ heads. Others simply cannot seem to “get there,” for a variety of reasons.
I dealt with this sadness myself, living in England as a new – and very lonely – mom. None of my child’s grandparents could manage the transatlantic travel to see us.
The pandemic has amplified everyone’s travel anxieties, including yours.
Yes, I think you will have to accept that your family members might not meet your babies until you and your wife can travel with them. I sense that you feel rejected, but I would caution you to understand that others’ bond and connection to your children will likely never match yours. Understand, too, that this is your family members’ loss – but they just don’t know it.
I hope you will continue to foster connections via video and photos, and plan for your own travel when you can manage it.
Two toddlers on a long flight: now that’s an adventure in mom-ing!
Dear Amy: My husband died very suddenly a few months ago of COVID.
This was a second marriage, as my first husband died young, of cancer.