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Ask Amy: New moms are left lonely when family won’t fly

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I’m fairly heartbroken about this, even though I recognize how this is a small thing to handle compared to what some have suffered in this pandemic.

– On a Distant Island

Dear Distant: Some people would easily and quickly jump on a plane and fly eight hours just to smell the tops of your babies’ heads. Others simply cannot seem to “get there,” for a variety of reasons.

I dealt with this sadness myself, living in England as a new – and very lonely – mom. None of my child’s grandparents could manage the transatlantic travel to see us.

The pandemic has amplified everyone’s travel anxieties, including yours.

Yes, I think you will have to accept that your family members might not meet your babies until you and your wife can travel with them. I sense that you feel rejected, but I would caution you to understand that others’ bond and connection to your children will likely never match yours. Understand, too, that this is your family members’ loss – but they just don’t know it.

 

I hope you will continue to foster connections via video and photos, and plan for your own travel when you can manage it.

Two toddlers on a long flight: now that’s an adventure in mom-ing!

Dear Amy: My husband died very suddenly a few months ago of COVID.

This was a second marriage, as my first husband died young, of cancer.

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