Life Advice



Ask Amy: Virtual dating creates actual problems

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I know that we should each look to the person inside, but if there is no initial attraction, there is no initial attraction. Is it kinder to leave the ladies wondering, or to let them know directly that I am definitely not interested?

– New to Dating

Dear New: For an expert's opinion on this, I shared your letter with Bela Gandhi, a dating coach and founder of Smart Dating Academy in Chicago (smartdatingacademy .com).

She says, "The rules are totally different in online dating. 'No response' is the right thing to do when you're not interested – it's the polite way of saying, 'No thanks!' It's much more humane. Who wants to wake up to an inbox full of detailed rejection notes?”

"Online dating is a whole new world, where anyone can contact anyone, and you're competing against millions of men. Make sure your photos are current and show you at your best: Well-dressed and smiling, with head shots and body shots. Also, make sure your online profile essays reflect interesting and fun specifics about yourself, not just eating and exercise habits."


(October 2011)


(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.




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