Life Advice



Ask Amy: Reader response regarding ‘ghosting’

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

This happened before I met my wife. (He is gay, so it's not like they had broken off a romantic relationship.)

She still talks fondly of him and is still hurt by him omitting her from his life.

Prior to our wedding 11 years ago, I found him online, and emailed him.

I explained who I was and said that we were getting married in February. I thought it would be a wonderful surprise if he attended. He eventually replied.

He said he couldn't make it to our wedding, but that he would contact my wife soon.

A couple of days later I got another email from him, saying that due to circumstances, he won't be able to contact her.


All these years later my wife still wonders what she did to make him not talk to her. It's still very painful for her.

– Helping Husband

Dear Husband: I hope your wife understands that this is not her fault. My theory is that this friend might be caught up in a relationship with a controlling partner.

Dear Amy: I had a similar ghosting experience with a friend of mine, and decided to take your advice to get in touch with the person in a warm and nonconfrontational way.


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