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Ask Amy: Reader response regarding ‘ghosting’

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: You recently ran a question from “Ghosted by a Friend,” about how it feels when a friend dumps you without explanation.

I have a friend whose best girlfriend of many years ghosted her for no reason.

The woman, who had cut off all ties to friends and family, surfaced several years later.

It turned out that she was in an abusive relationship with a man who beat her. She was embarrassed and ashamed. She finally reached out after she got out of the relationship. The two women are best friends again.

So there CAN be a happy ending.

– E

 

Dear E: The insight I’ve gained – both from my own life and also from the many questions I’ve fielded about ghosting and estrangement – is that the person being ghosted most often assumes the blame. Blaming oneself is a way of filling the void created when you simply have no idea of why someone has suddenly left you.

It helps to understand that someone who changes direction suddenly might have something important going on in their own life influencing their behavior.

So yes, the scenario you describe presents a very happy ending. This friend managed to escape an abusive situation, and look what happened: her compassionate friend was there, waiting for her.

Dear Amy: I really identified with the letter from “Ghosted by a Friend,” in fact, I thought that letter could be about me, because I’m the one who does this to others.

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