ArcaMax

— Grieving

Dear Grieving: First off, making fun of the important and sacred work of preparing a body for burial (“they don’t complain”) is extremely unprofessional and insensitive.

Every single body passing through this funeral home was a loved one, friend or family member of someone who has paid the funeral home for this important service. The deceased and their family members should be respected, both in the moment of preparing for burial, and afterward.

Your twin brother desperately requires sensitivity training.

When your husband advises you to “stay out of it,” what is he saying? These emails are addressed to you and so I’d say that you are already in it.

These notifications upset you, and so you have the right (and responsibility) to tell your brother the truth about how they affect you.

I suggest that you send him an email: “I can tell by your detailed descriptions that your work is engrossing. I am truly happy for you that you seem to love your job. However, being totally honest, I find the detailed discussions of what happens behind the scenes at the funeral home very unsettling – in no small part because our older brother is currently fighting for his own life. I don’t know how he feels about these descriptions, but in my sisterly opinion, I do wish you would be more sensitive.”

Dear Amy: My mother passed away in 1996. She gave me her wedding ring.

My youngest nephew, who is also my mom's youngest grandson, was getting married a second time to a girl I actually thought would be “the one.” (His first marriage ended in divorce.)

Anyway, I gave my nephew my mother's ring for this wedding. He was so moved that he cried. I knew he loved the idea.

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